The Return of eLf ideas

ideas of an eLven being in Canada

Thursday, December 23, 2004

The Fourth of a Dozen Verses

December 9, Thursday
*Scents*
There's something in those scents
That in my heart transcends
Bittersweet memories
Kisses of the past
Badly broken hearts
Loves which didn't last
Inevitable tragedies
Forever will be mysteries

December 10, Friday
*Dilim*
Pagud na pagod na 'ko
Mga mata ko'y laging mugtô
Ang tigas ng ulo ng lolo ko
Mukhang mauuna pa yata ako

Di na 'ko makatulog nang maayos
Pagbabantay di matapus-tapos
Ni wala man lamang mayapós
Sa t'wina ako'y mistulang nauupos

Di ko na mawari ang aking nadarama
Galit-awa-galit-awa
Nasa pagitan ako ng dalawang demoño
Walang itulak-kabigin parehong talo

Sitwasyon ko'y parang wala nang katapusan
Kailan pa kaya panibagong buhay ay masisimulan?

Kunut-noo, kagat-labì, buntung-hininga
Kailan pa kaya ako muling makatatawa?
O makangingiti man lang nang ubod-sigla?

Pagong pa rin ang usad ng panahon
Sukò na yata ako sa mga araw na mapanghamon

Sana naman tutuo ang kasabihan:

"Sa dulo ng bawat lagusan
Ay may liwanag na maaasahan"

At kung iyan nga ay isang katotohanan
Sapat pa sana ang aking isipa't pangangatawan
Upang bagtasin ang kasalukuyang dilim
Na sa aking buhay ay nagpapakulimlim

December 11, Saturday
*Apathetic*
How paradoxical life really is
I expect the unexpected
But I get surprised by the unsurprising

Trivial or controversial
Things seem to not matter anymore

Everything has become subjective
Everything has become relative

Or were they like that ever since
Only I haven't realized it?

December 12, Sunday
*Molecules*
Snow doesn't excite me anymore
Rain doesn't inspire me anymore
But love, yes, love
Love is the magic
That bonds my remaining molecules

December 13, Monday
*Seven*
I tried so hard to understand
Why did it have to be us?

Your gift that year was a broken home
Gone in our lives then you were suddenly

I remember the tales you used to tell
There in my crib I would listen so well

An ode of forgiveness now gently plays
From me and them and her to you


Out of gloom Out of heaven
For years I yearned


It could hush us seven
Seven us hush could tears?


December 14, Tuesday
*Chained*
Sitting by the window in the children's room
Staring at the motionless and virtually leafless trees
And then as always crows and gulls and squirrels
Frolic and foster in their gift of freedom
Flying where their wings take them
Climbing the treetops hiding in the treeholes
While I—engulfed
In silence and imprisoned
In my own thoughts
Indefinitely

December 15, Wednesday
*Rebirth*
So many questions in my mind
Answers, would there really be, someday?

So many ill feelings in my heart
Comfort, would there really be, someday?

So many dreams in my mind
Fulfilled, could they really be, someday?

So many resentments in my heart
Forgiveness, would there really be, someday?

So many wounds my soul has
Healing, would there really be, someday?

So many scars left behind
Will my spirit survive nonetheless?

So many moments I felt I died
Rebirth, is there really such a phenomenon?

December 16, Thursday
*Epitaph*
I'm a burning candle
I'm a two-week-old moth
I'm a jaded song
I'm a half-forgotten saga
I'm a half-remembered hero
I'm a millennium-old sequoia
I'm my ailing grandfather

fading...
...waning
ending.

December 17, Friday
*Rotten*
Emptiness is eating me
I'm a rotting emu egg
Solitariness is imprisoning me
I'm a rotting chinchilla
Loneliness is killing me
I'm a rotting narwhal
Immortality has left me
I'm a rotting corpse

December 18, Saturday
*Kabanatà *
Báwat paták ng túbig sa yúngib
Ay luhà
Báwat kináng ng kaliskís
Ay tuwâ
Báwat álon sa dágat
Ay pangambá
Báwat kurbá ng labì
Ay pag-ása
Báwat úkit ng pantíg
Ay litératurá
Báwat kampáy ng buntót
Ay panatà
Báwat kabanatà
Ay bágong alaála

December 19, Sunday
*Bells*
Christmas is near
Is it?
Christmas bells are chiming
Are they?
Christmas gifts have been wrapped
So what?
Christmas carols are lingering
Very saddening
Christmas is near
Yet I'm far away

December 20, Monday
*Out*
Running out of words
Running out of ideas
Running out of strength
Running out of hope

Running out of dreams
Running out of inspiration
Running out of energy

Running out of running out of
Running out
Run

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